Merry Christmas everyone!
Today has been so confusing for me, every time I have been on my own I have wanted to cry. There is no other way of saying this but that. The reasoning behind this rush of hormones recently is a mystery to me and I thought I should write it down.
I can possible excuse these erratic emotions down to the situation of my boyfriend being admitted into hospital, being given under-par treatment and therefore has had a prolonged stay.
I just don't think its down to that :/,
Hopefully it will go by tomorrow, when my family is coming down but we shall see.
Sorry for the downing post. <3 p="p">George
Tuesday 25 December 2012
Friday 12 October 2012
The day that I stay up abnormally late.
I have convinced myself, that I will work hard over the course of this year. For personal gain, and an insight into my limits and weaknesses.
The fact is, I need to become stronger, more objective and focused.
You may be feeling this too, and although you get that thought time to time of "I'm going to change", it never happens.
This may be one of those thoughts, just rambling through my little brain. As they say, only time will tell.
I just wanted to say hi, sorry for not posting, I'm just trying to be busy y'know?
I hope anyone can give me a little insider into how to achiever this without any of those 'self help books'.
To refer to the title, I'm going to read as much of Jane Eyre as I can tonight, until my eyes will weigh me down.
George x
The fact is, I need to become stronger, more objective and focused.
You may be feeling this too, and although you get that thought time to time of "I'm going to change", it never happens.
This may be one of those thoughts, just rambling through my little brain. As they say, only time will tell.
I just wanted to say hi, sorry for not posting, I'm just trying to be busy y'know?
I hope anyone can give me a little insider into how to achiever this without any of those 'self help books'.
To refer to the title, I'm going to read as much of Jane Eyre as I can tonight, until my eyes will weigh me down.
George x
Saturday 15 September 2012
The day that life weighs down on you.
That was when I realised this year is going to be important. We arrived back Sunday morning at around half 3-4, and I had work at half 9. Stupid right? It didn't go that badly, I was probably on a high from the whole holiday.
However the next day, the Monday, I had to re-enrol at college and go find my new lecturers and attend my lectures, get a bus pass, and a new student Id. This also went somewhat smoothly however I must have had a headache by the end of it.
The days passed and day by day, hour by hour I gained more homework, more tests dates and more speeches of how I need to decide what to do with my life. While also being told to re-do some of my exams.
Great.
I have become reacquainted with my old friend procrastination and he led me here. In the middle of writing a Psychology essay.
I just need to get my life straight you know? I can't seem to do that yet, Has anyone got any ways of doing this, like a schedule or a map or a guide book pleaaase.
Plus, I have a cold YAY.
I hope you are all well :).
Wednesday 22 August 2012
The Day When I Pack
So today has been a mini- mad rush, I've finally realised that I need to start packing for my holiday on Saturday. I'm going to Portugal!
I've got the suitcase out, packed it almost full of my clothes but I still feel like I'm not ready. I need more clothes! Seriously.
I doubt there's enough time but I don't care anymore. Just let it be.
Things really should be let go of sometimes. Arguements, Worries. Yet they never are.
George x
I've got the suitcase out, packed it almost full of my clothes but I still feel like I'm not ready. I need more clothes! Seriously.
I doubt there's enough time but I don't care anymore. Just let it be.
Things really should be let go of sometimes. Arguements, Worries. Yet they never are.
George x
Wednesday 15 August 2012
SIDE NOTE
I fell flat on my face today while walking towards the centre of town after getting off the bus.
Yup.
Who even falls any more? I haven't seen anybody fall in like a year.
Nobody helped me get up, although there were many behind me, one guy asked if I was okay after I had gotten up. This is despicable.
I scuffed my new trousers and my phone is worse for wear.
I don't think I'm over this traumatic experience yet.
George x
Yup.
Who even falls any more? I haven't seen anybody fall in like a year.
Nobody helped me get up, although there were many behind me, one guy asked if I was okay after I had gotten up. This is despicable.
I scuffed my new trousers and my phone is worse for wear.
I don't think I'm over this traumatic experience yet.
George x
The Day When I Cried To My Gran
This may seem a sensitive issue but I feel getting it out in the open may make me feel better about it.
After staying for several days in England visiting my Gran with my mother. It was the morning I was due to be leaving on the train back to Wales, so that I can get my results tomorrow. (Don't start on them,).
To put it lightly my Mum had been somewhat of an annoyance during the stay, not to put the blame on anyone else but I was also apparently argumentative.
Upon asking my mum what she was talking about, as she was rambling, She replied by leaning into me condescendingly with those 'Oh I'm a teacher, I must explain it to you simply' eyes. I then asked why she lent into me, this sparked her to storm out while shouting at me.
By doing this in front of my Gran is highly humiliating, and yeah, started crying.
There is an upside to this though! Don't worry too much :)! My mum and I do get on, it was the close proximity I think. The upside being that I finally saw my gran as my Gran. I've always felt her to be someone to always be pleased, with higher expectations than anyone. She didn't really want to know me, but now she does. I know this probably wasn't the case, that she genuinely loved me and whatever but its nice to finally feel it. She even gave me some money, and she's never given money 'just because' before. I know it's sympathy money, so I'm not spending it and I tried giving it back, but oh well.
I'm thinking of going to see her on my own maybe, it would be a good idea.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, means a lot. If you're getting results this summer, Good luck!
George x
After staying for several days in England visiting my Gran with my mother. It was the morning I was due to be leaving on the train back to Wales, so that I can get my results tomorrow. (Don't start on them,).
To put it lightly my Mum had been somewhat of an annoyance during the stay, not to put the blame on anyone else but I was also apparently argumentative.
Upon asking my mum what she was talking about, as she was rambling, She replied by leaning into me condescendingly with those 'Oh I'm a teacher, I must explain it to you simply' eyes. I then asked why she lent into me, this sparked her to storm out while shouting at me.
By doing this in front of my Gran is highly humiliating, and yeah, started crying.
There is an upside to this though! Don't worry too much :)! My mum and I do get on, it was the close proximity I think. The upside being that I finally saw my gran as my Gran. I've always felt her to be someone to always be pleased, with higher expectations than anyone. She didn't really want to know me, but now she does. I know this probably wasn't the case, that she genuinely loved me and whatever but its nice to finally feel it. She even gave me some money, and she's never given money 'just because' before. I know it's sympathy money, so I'm not spending it and I tried giving it back, but oh well.
I'm thinking of going to see her on my own maybe, it would be a good idea.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, means a lot. If you're getting results this summer, Good luck!
George x
Friday 10 August 2012
The Day I Decide.
I lie, okay I have had many of these'days'. They're the most gut wrenching real life full on whacks in the face. For those my age anyhow, otherwise everyone older has gotten over this 'minuscule' ordeal, while anyone younger is ignorant to the fight they are ultimately going to face.
The situation is sordid, nice word right?. Yet true.
The situation, my 'followers' is the certain matter of 'What I want To Do In Life'.
This normally comes up in conversation with family members, strangers, employers, anyone. It can strike anywhere when you're not expecting it. Beware. Upon being asked the familiar question of "What would you like to do?", I begin, at first with a clear head. Clear feelings, the weighing scale in my head appearing ready for myself to start describing my A Level subjects, and perhaps what I could go onto from there. Then, I start thinking about my options, start over thinking. Those weighing scales mount up my subjects along with figurative images of my opinions. Swaying side to side every time a possibility is added on, until there comes a moment where even the weighing scales shrug and drop everything into my head. This is when I start blabbering about how I'm confused, and that I don't know until they back off the subject all together, finishing my performance with a deep sigh of relief.
Today, this has not been ignited by another human being but the fact that I went on a Work Experience to Crown Court for a week. Although very appealing, there was talk of the system degrading. Along with some personal feelings about the inability/difficulty to move around or abroad this made me quite insecure with what seemed to be a strong contender for me decision. So I started thinking of what else I could do.
At the moment, with emphasis on moment, I'm thinking about Psychology, everyone has mental problems, I've heard there's a demand around. Why not? I've always been interested right?
I wish I could just have an easy life. Guess it's not that simple :/
However, I must note that Crown Court was amazing! I was able to watch a trial from start to end, along with preliminary hearings and such. They sure have a way with words.
George x
The situation is sordid, nice word right?. Yet true.
The situation, my 'followers' is the certain matter of 'What I want To Do In Life'.
This normally comes up in conversation with family members, strangers, employers, anyone. It can strike anywhere when you're not expecting it. Beware. Upon being asked the familiar question of "What would you like to do?", I begin, at first with a clear head. Clear feelings, the weighing scale in my head appearing ready for myself to start describing my A Level subjects, and perhaps what I could go onto from there. Then, I start thinking about my options, start over thinking. Those weighing scales mount up my subjects along with figurative images of my opinions. Swaying side to side every time a possibility is added on, until there comes a moment where even the weighing scales shrug and drop everything into my head. This is when I start blabbering about how I'm confused, and that I don't know until they back off the subject all together, finishing my performance with a deep sigh of relief.
Today, this has not been ignited by another human being but the fact that I went on a Work Experience to Crown Court for a week. Although very appealing, there was talk of the system degrading. Along with some personal feelings about the inability/difficulty to move around or abroad this made me quite insecure with what seemed to be a strong contender for me decision. So I started thinking of what else I could do.
At the moment, with emphasis on moment, I'm thinking about Psychology, everyone has mental problems, I've heard there's a demand around. Why not? I've always been interested right?
I wish I could just have an easy life. Guess it's not that simple :/
However, I must note that Crown Court was amazing! I was able to watch a trial from start to end, along with preliminary hearings and such. They sure have a way with words.
George x
Thursday 2 August 2012
The day when time stood still.
Okay, so I'm not going to say that I'm the guy off Heroes who made the clock go back a minute.
But seriously, time felt like it totally stopped.
I feel like it's due to the absence of my boyfriend, who is away at the olympics. Lucky sod. Since I usually spend a lot of my time with him, I'm incredibly bored. I'm trying to be productive but its so hard!. Does anyone have any ideas of something I could do?
By the way, my driving lesson went well! I feel very dangerous on the road though. Another lesson on Saturday morning. Have a lovely day/night.
George xx
But seriously, time felt like it totally stopped.
I feel like it's due to the absence of my boyfriend, who is away at the olympics. Lucky sod. Since I usually spend a lot of my time with him, I'm incredibly bored. I'm trying to be productive but its so hard!. Does anyone have any ideas of something I could do?
By the way, my driving lesson went well! I feel very dangerous on the road though. Another lesson on Saturday morning. Have a lovely day/night.
George xx
Wednesday 1 August 2012
The Day When I Have my First Driving Lesson
It's a long time coming, due to several excuses. However, today is the day when I take life by the steering wheel. (haha)
Lets be honest, driving is incredibly advantageous in the mission of 'getting a life' however it is also seriously expensive and I don't know how I'm going to cope with that. One step at a time.
Other plans for today are to watch the Olympics, like every other Britain in the country and also to try and do some more exercise. I went swimming yesterday and now have a new appreciation for fish and buoyant mammals.
I only ever need to try and make plans when there's nothing to do. Does anyone else find this? My boyfriend has gone to London for seven days and now I'm stuck here frustratingly trying to be productive while he's away. There's so many things that I could be doing, Reading my literature books, trying to get reacquainted to the rules of Law for my work experience and general tidying around my house.
If anyone has any interesting suggestions for my pursuits over the next couple of days then please comment!
George x
Lets be honest, driving is incredibly advantageous in the mission of 'getting a life' however it is also seriously expensive and I don't know how I'm going to cope with that. One step at a time.
Other plans for today are to watch the Olympics, like every other Britain in the country and also to try and do some more exercise. I went swimming yesterday and now have a new appreciation for fish and buoyant mammals.
I only ever need to try and make plans when there's nothing to do. Does anyone else find this? My boyfriend has gone to London for seven days and now I'm stuck here frustratingly trying to be productive while he's away. There's so many things that I could be doing, Reading my literature books, trying to get reacquainted to the rules of Law for my work experience and general tidying around my house.
If anyone has any interesting suggestions for my pursuits over the next couple of days then please comment!
George x
Tuesday 31 July 2012
The Day When..
The Day When I Found My Old Blog
So I have just found my blog, and, well I'm kinda speechless! I have deleted my old post as they were frankly embarrassing. Like those old pictures of you that you can't seem to get rid of, or your passport photo! I was never the most photogenic.
Somehow though, it makes you reflect upon yourself, 'What was I like?'.
In all fairness, while reading those old posts, I must have taken great care and consideration with my writing. Unlike now, where my brain is too tired to even bother thinking if the sentence is grammatically correct.I seemed like a sweet kind of girl, who basically, sadly, didn't have a life. Who does at 14? \Do I even have a life now I ask myself.
Whatever I was like then, I need to remember that I've changed, for the better or worse it just doesn't matter. As I am happy with myself. Sometimes, I'll say the wrong thing at the wrong time or I won't think. I always feel terrible afterwards if its made out to be a person I'm not, so if I can think back to my old blog that has passed on and consolidate my actions, I will be very happy with myself.
Hope all is well with everyone, if anyone is still on here!
George
So I have just found my blog, and, well I'm kinda speechless! I have deleted my old post as they were frankly embarrassing. Like those old pictures of you that you can't seem to get rid of, or your passport photo! I was never the most photogenic.
Somehow though, it makes you reflect upon yourself, 'What was I like?'.
In all fairness, while reading those old posts, I must have taken great care and consideration with my writing. Unlike now, where my brain is too tired to even bother thinking if the sentence is grammatically correct.I seemed like a sweet kind of girl, who basically, sadly, didn't have a life. Who does at 14? \Do I even have a life now I ask myself.
Whatever I was like then, I need to remember that I've changed, for the better or worse it just doesn't matter. As I am happy with myself. Sometimes, I'll say the wrong thing at the wrong time or I won't think. I always feel terrible afterwards if its made out to be a person I'm not, so if I can think back to my old blog that has passed on and consolidate my actions, I will be very happy with myself.
Hope all is well with everyone, if anyone is still on here!
George
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